


Do you think I'm beautiful?

by october_lady



Category: Morrilla - Fandom, Once Upon a Time RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fear, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 22:31:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4155444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/october_lady/pseuds/october_lady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One simple question can cause a disaster. Or maybe lead to something nice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an older story that I only posted on tumblr. I'm going to try upload all the chapters soon. Review is very appreciated.

Jen and Lana were both sitting on the couch in the living room. More lying than sitting, one could say. They were both tired. They haven’t seen each other for quite some time and Jen came to visit Lana. The last night could be called “a white night” because when they finally went to their beds, the sun was already up. There were so many things to catch up on, they were watching some movies and talking the whole night, drinking some wine.

And now they were just sitting there with food all over the coffee table so they don’t have to get up, watching some more movies.

“Jen, are you sleeping?” Lana whispered and turned the movie off, as she saw that her friend had her eyes closed.

“What? Of course not!” Jen rubbed her eyes and sat up.

“Maybe we should take a nap, we were up the whole night, you know...”

“No way! I’m here to spend time with you and not to sleep through it all!”

“And I’m glad you’re here but what’s the point when we look like shit and are so tired we can’t even laugh?”

“You don’t look like shit! And I can still laugh!” Jen paused and looked at Lana who seemed really tired. “But you know what, we can take a nap together, so we don’t lose any time and I can tell you all the funny stories as soon as they come to my mind and I don’t forget them again.”

“Do you ever actually stop talking?” Lana looked amused.

“I’m not sure, do I? Come on! Let’s do a real sleepover, like teen girls! We already did the movie part but there’s still the talking part left! We should be talking in bed, with some food, in dark, until one of us falls asleep!” Jen seemed suddenly full of energy and grabbed Lana’s hand. Lana laughed at that idea.

“Jen, it’s crazy!” Her words seemed hesitatingly but her eyes bighted up.

“And what’s not! Let’s do it in my room, the bed is big enough for both of us and you won’t have a mess in your bedroom. Just go and I’ll bring some food, I can see that you’re tired. I promise we’ll rest at first a bit and talk then!” Jen made her puppy face as she was getting up from the couch.

“As you wish, you’re the guest, after all,” Lana smiled a bit and got up because Jen was already pulling her up.

Sometimes Lana thought that Jen was like a kid but she had to admit that she liked how Jen could get thrilled over such little things.

She went to the room as she was told and dropped her body on the big bed. She actually has never slept in this room. It was for guests, she had her big and comfortable bedroom. She lay down and closed her eyes. She was really tired.

“Lana?” Jen whispered and as she saw no move, she put quietly the plates with fruit and cheese down and smiled. Lana was sleeping like a baby and she didn’t want to wake her up. She pulled the sheets over her body. Lana was wearing just a tank top and some yoga pants and Jen didn’t want her to get cold.

Jen lay down next to Lana carefully and fell also asleep.

When Lana woke up, it was getting dark in the room but there was still enough light to see properly. She felt better but she knew she probably didn’t look very well. She laughed. When her fans would see her now, they wouldn’t probably think anymore that she’s so gorgeous. She doesn’t understand it anyway. Sometimes she went through the tweets, especially by photos. She was always surprised what her fans thought about her appearance. She knew of course she wasn’t ugly but she didn’t think she was as gorgeous as her fans thought she was.

“Jen? Can I ask you a question?”

“Hmm...” Jen hummed and turned around to Lana. Her eyes were still closed.

“Do you think I’m gorgeous?” Lana’s gaze left the ceiling and she looked at Jen. She felt that her question was a little bit silly. Now she really felt like a teen girl and kind of hoped that Jen didn’t perceive and was sleeping.

“What?” Jen’s eyes shut open. “Is this a trick question?” She sat up and stared at Lana.

“Why should this be a trick question?”

“Because! Have you ever seen yourself in a mirror? You could actually ask the mirror, you know...” Jen smiled as she said that but then she saw Lana’s serious face. “You’re gorgeous, my friend! That’s kind of obvious, by the way...”

She lain down again and then she turned around so she could see Lana’s face.

“Did something happen while I was sleeping?”

“No.”

“Then why do you ask this?” Jen’s brows were close as she was measuring Lana. She was looking through the ceiling somewhere in the distance.

“I was just thinking about all the things the fans say about me, you know... about all the compliments, all the nice things, how beautiful and gorgeous I am. And I just think that it isn’t true.”

“You don’t think you’re beautiful? Lana, are you kidding me right now?” Jen lifted herself on her elbow so she could see in Lana’s eyes.

“No, I – I do. I don’t think I’m ugly or something. I just don’t think I am as flawless as they think.”

Jen sighed. “Okay. Look at me and say the ‘Mirror, mirror’ thing. Come on, just do it!”

“It’s silly...”

“You’re silly if you don’t think you’re gorgeous. Just ask that.” Jen was sitting on her legs with a serious face and waited till Lana said that.

“Fine. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”

“My queen, you’re the fairest of them all!” Jen laughed and pulled Lana’s hand. “See, the mirror can’t lie. You’re gorgeous.”

“You’re not a mirror, did you notice?”

“And you’re no fun. I just wanted to show you that you’re a gorgeous woman, Lana. Don’t worry about that, your fans are right, really.” Jen smiled at her and squeezed her hand.

“Let’s say that I may start to believe you. Can you tell me what exactly you like about me? What you think that is beautiful about me?” Lana looked Jen deep in her eyes and squeezed her hand back.

Jen was a bit surprised by this request.

“Hmm, let’s see...” She was looking at Lana for about a minute, like scanning her whole body and thinking.

“What I think is beautiful about you, Lana? Hm, let’s start with your eyes.” Her voice was soft and their eyes locked and Jen went on. “You have such a beautiful dark eyes, so deep that I sometimes feel like I could drown in them.” She paused and Lana’s lips’ corners went a bit up.

“I like your hair,” Jen reached out her hand and tangled her fingers in Lana’s hair, “I like the colour and how they frame your face,” she kept playing with it, “I like how they fly in the wind or when you turn around fast.” Jen smiled, apparently thinking about some concrete moment.

“I like your lips,” Jen paused, hesitating, her hand in the air. It took her just a second to go on. “I love the scar. It’s really sexy, you know...” Jen smiled like she was dreaming. She let her hand go down and touched Lana’s lip’s scar. She felt Lana shiver a bit as she caressed that little spot. “I love what you do with your lips when you talk and when you smile.” She let her finger go over Lana’s bottom lip. “I love how you sometimes curl your tongue somehow while you’re talking and smiling.”

Jen looked up and saw that Lana’s eyes were closed. It was a good sign for her and she decided to go on.

“I like your arms. I know it may sound weird. I especially like the move you do with your wrist when you do some spell. It’s so natural to you.” Jen stroked Lana’s inner arm, from her elbow to her wrist and back. She saw Lana’s lips widened in a smile but her eyes remained closed.

Her breath was deeper and Jen could see her breast go up and down. She lost herself in her thoughts for a while before she continued.

“I like how your body moves, how you swing your hips while you’re going,” Jen lead her hand from Lana’s waist over her hips till her leg as far as she could reach and back again, slowly, enjoying the touch through her fingertips.

Lana’s body was shivering under Jen’s touch; her breath was deep and shorter than normally, her lips were a little bit parted.

Jen took a deep breath.

“I like your breast.” It was more like a whisper, like a normal voice volume could ruin this moment. “I like how your boobs look like in all the Evil Queen’s dresses,” Jen run her finger over the hem of Lana’s tank top, slowly and lightly, afraid that this all could disappear in a second. “I know, I know, there are some tricks about those cleavages. But it is still very distracting.” It seemed like Jen was talking more to herself as she caressed the cleavage of Lana’s top thoughtlessly. Sometimes her finger slipped under the hem. Lana’s breast went up and down in short, quick motions.

Lana lay still, she was afraid to move. She didn’t want this to stop. It felt so good. Not just in her head, also in her body. Her body was responding to every Jen’s touch. She could feel the heat going down to every nerve’s ending.

“I also like your boobs in Regina’s bottom up shirts. I guess I simply like your boobs, no matter what you’re wearing...” Jen loosened her fist. She was touching Lana with one finger but it took too long to hold the other ones in a fist. Her palm was now touching Lana’s boobs accidentally as she continued with caressing around the hem of Lana’s top.

She was watching Lana’s face. Her eyes opened and Jen’s hand stopped and was now kind of cupping Lana’s boob. She was suddenly afraid that she did something wrong. She looked Lana in the eyes. She expected to see anger or maybe even disgust. But Lana’s look was tender and all she could see there was some kind of a love emotion, some kind of a desire.

It seemed like eternity, they were just looking into each other’s eyes, Jen’s hand still resting on Lana’s boob, Lana’s breath still short.

And then Lana sighed out, hardly audible.

“Can you just kiss me yet?”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

„Can you just kiss me yet?“ Lana asked, hardly audible.

They were just staring each other in the eyes; their lips parted a little bit, breaths short and fast.

Jen’s hand has frozen right on Lana’s boob but she didn’t even notice. She wasn’t sure if this is some kind of a dream or if this is really happening. Did Lana really just ask her to kiss her? And what should she do? Should she kiss her? Not that she wouldn’t want to, she found Lana sexy but she’s her friend! And you don’t just kiss your friends because it can screw everything, the whole friendship! But she wanted to press her lips against Lana’s, just to touch her lightly, to know what it feels like.

Jen was fighting with herself when she felt that Lana’s hand cupped her cheek.

“Jen?” Lana whispered.

Jen winked and what she saw in Lana’s eyes made her do something. There was fear. Fear that she had crossed the line with that request. And also lust. Lust to feel Jen’s lips against hers. But there was also some kind of fight, maybe the same one that Jen was fighting.

Screw it, Jen thought as she slowly reached out her hand. She smiled and caressed Lana’s cheek. She was slowly leaning to her. They both closed their eyes. When their lips met, they just stayed still for few seconds like they would be afraid that this all could disappear just like a soap bubble. Jen felt strawberries on Lana’s lips. Maybe that was the thing that gave her enough courage to go on. She carefully moved her lips and started to kiss Lana. Lana was happy to pay it back, her hands on Jen’s hips.

Jen was lifting herself on her elbow, still caressing Lana’s cheek with her other hand. She was moving her hand to Lana’s hair. It felt like silk and she couldn’t help it but tangle her fingers in that beautiful hair.

After a while they both became more confident with themselves. Lana’s tongue stroke Jen’s bottom lip and she let her in without even thinking about what she was doing. As their tongues touched and started to dance tango, the heat shot through their bodies. Lana’s grip on Jen’s hips went tighter as she pulled her closer and then turned them both around so that Lana was on top now.

She kissed the blondes neck. She felt the shiver under the trail of her hot tongue.

Lana sat up and looked at Jen, smiling.

“You’re beautiful too, you know...” she said as she was pulling Jen up to her, smiling seductively. She tangled their legs so that they could sit as close to each other as possible. Jen smiled and closed her eyes. She let Lana to kiss her again but this time with a real passion. She could feel how her crotch in very short shorts met Lana’s in her thin yoga pants. Lana’s hands were all over her body. In that moment Jen shivered and some electricity went through her body.

It was like a hit of reality. She realized what she was doing and moreover whom she was doing it with. With her very good friend who she would never want to lose because of the fact that they both hadn’t had any sexual partner in a while and apparently felt a little bit frustrated.

She stopped the kissing. That made Lana open her eyes with an unspoken question.

“What are we doing?” Jen asked, shaking her head and looking Lana in the eyes with worries.

Lana let her right hand go through her hair. Her look was confused.

“What do you mean?” It was kind of obvious what they were doing but she was sure that was not what Jen was asking.

“I mean... this... we shouldn’t...I... we... it just doesn’t feel right, you know...” Jen looked helpless and threw her hands in the air.

“Oh,” Lana’s expression changed. She took a deep breath and tried to hide that this words hurt her. She untangled her legs and sit a little bit further so she could have her personal space. She put her chin on her knees and hugged her legs.

“I thought you liked me.”

“I do! Believe me, I really do! What I’d said, it was all true! I just... you’re one of my best friends, Lana. I don’t wanna lose you! And doing... this with friends, that never ends well...” Jen tried to explain herself but it felt like she’s just doing it worse. She touched Lana’s arm.

“Lana, please, look at me. I don’t want you to regret this, tomorrow or in a week.”

Lana finally looked at Jen. Her eyes seemed a little bit wet.

“Regret...?” she whispered that with an unbelievable voice. She got up from the bed and went to the door.

“Maybe we should spend some time alone so we don’t have to regret it later,” her voice broke up a bit at the end.

The door slammed and Jen jumped, her eyes wide opened.

What the hell did just happen?


	3. Chapter 3

The door slammed and Jen jumped, her eyes wide opened.

What the hell did just happen?

Jen was staring at the door of the guest room that was supposed to be her room for this week. She wanted to run after Lana and hug her and comfort her and wipe her tears away and stare in her eyes and maybe also kiss her li-...What? No! That can’t be what she wanted. She wanted to cover herself with the sheets and hide from the world and disappear. That what just has happened, that all felt strange. Like she did something wrong.

She saw Lana’s face. She saw pain in her eyes. Jen was confused. Did she hurt Lana with what she said? But why? She didn’t want to hurt anyone. Not now and not later. Because that’s what it ends up like. They were both experienced enough to know that making out or even having sex with a friend, with a close friend, usually doesn’t end well. It usually destroys the friendship, slowly, but it does. And Jen wasn’t willing to take the risk. She admired Lana, she was thankful that they were friends.

Yes, she thought she was incredibly hot. Sometimes she caught herself just staring at Lana with an opened mouth and admiring her and then she usually freaked out that she shouldn’t like her that way so much.

Jen was rubbing her face as she was thinking hard. She didn’t know what to do; she didn’t know what to think. She felt confused and helpless and it hurt her that she probably hurt Lana. She wanted to go to her and explain it everything, again and better. But on the other hand, she didn’t actually know much what to say. She knew why she stopped that. There she was sure. But she couldn’t explain even to herself why she started this in the first place.

She could have just told Lana what she likes about her; there was no need to touch her. But it was so tempting, as Lana was lying there in the perfectly fitting tank top, with her hair spread on the pillow. And the tone in that she talked to Jen and the way she looked her in the eyes, it felt just like an invitation...

“Stop it!” Jen cried out and threw a pillow across the room angrily. She started to cry. She was scared with her opposite thoughts.

She knew they have to talk about what happened, otherwise it will always be in the air and they will feel uncomfortable. And she knew it should probably be her who should start this conversation.

She lay down on the bed, tears slowly flowing from her eyes. Maybe it’s better to leave it for tomorrow so they can both calm down and clear their minds.

Jen stopped sobbing. Why did Lana feel hurt? Nothing really happened so she had to feel that way. The only thing Jen said was that she doesn’t want to make out with her friend. That’s not so bad, they could both laugh about it and do stupid jokes. There’s no need for tears unless....Unless...!

Oh my God! Jen sat up quickly.

What if...? What if...?

She was afraid to even say it in her head.

What if there’s something more? What if Lana wants more from her? And with more she didn’t exactly mean sex.

That just can’t be.

It felt good, for both of them, obviously, but that’s all. They are both just exhausted so they overreacted. It will be okay tomorrow, Jen was sure.

♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀

On the other side of the house there was Lana lying in her bed. She couldn’t cry, there were just tears running out of her eyes. She has calmed down a little bit and now she felt embarrassed because of her reaction.

She couldn’t stop the tears. She felt pain in her chest. She wanted nothing but cry. That’s why she had to leave the room immediately but she didn’t know why she reacted that way.

The time spent with Jen was the time she didn’t have to think. She didn’t have to be afraid that she said something silly, that she didn’t look much representatively, that she did some stupid face. And that was what happened back in the guest room. She didn’t really think about what she was doing and what she was saying. She didn’t know why she asked Jen to kiss her. It just felt right in that moment. She didn’t know why that all went a little further.

She knew she shouldn’t do this. This is not a thing that you do with your best friend. But in that moment it felt so right! And when it once felt right, is it really bad?

She was surprised with her feelings. She’s always loved Jen. As a friend. She loved her very much. But this, all the touches that felt so good on her body, the kiss and all the words, it was like it has opened some secret door. A door she didn’t even know that existed. And behind the door, there were feelings for Jen even stronger.

Lana was lying on her right side with the back to the door, looking out of the window. It was already dark and there was hardly anything to see but Lana didn’t care. She didn’t see anything anyway. She was lost in her thoughts. She could still feel Jen’s lips pressed against hers. She could feel Jen’s finger in her cleavage.

She was afraid to think about it but she couldn’t stop herself. Apparently, this is not a thing one does with the best friend. But she felt some special connection to Jen, something she hasn’t felt for any of her friends before. Of course she knew what Jen was talking about with the regretting and destroying a friendship but she was somehow sure that this was not their case. She was sure it wouldn’t hurt their friendship if anything happened.

Or maybe Jen didn’t feel the same way. Maybe Lana was just another close friend to her, among others. She doesn’t probably feel any special connection like Lana does.

This thought scared Lana. She was thinking about the whole situation all over again. And again from backwards. And then one more time.

Jen did the same thing in her room.

They both fell asleep, exhausted with overthinking and some tears.

♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀

The sun stretching out its rays woke Jen up. The sleep helped her and she felt better. Well, at least mentally. Physically, it was not so good. Her eyes were swollen as the tears of desperation, confusion, fear and her feelings kept running out of her eyes for quite a long time.

She went to the bathroom and took a shower. She mixed the hot and cold water. Hot showers are good for thinking and the cold ones are good for waking you up.

She finally decided. She got dressed and with her hair still wet a little, she went talk to Lana.

When she was standing on the last stair, she was not so confident anymore but she was determined to continue. She knew she had to do this.

She knocked on Lana’s door.

“Lana?” she asked, opening the door quietly in case Lana was still sleeping. Lana was still lying with her back to the door. Jen entered the room and crossed it to the bed. She sat herself on the edge and asked again, softly.

“Are you sleeping?”

Lana took a deep breath.

“No.” She turned slowly around and looked at Jen. Her eyes were red too.

“How are you?” Jen asked hesitatingly as she wasn’t sure how the things are today.

“Better than yesterday...” it was supposed to sound like a joke but it sounded a little bit like a reproach.

Jen was nervous and didn’t know where to go with her eyes. Finally, she found enough courage to go on.

“Can we... can we talk?” She smiled a little, hoping that Lana won’t throw her out.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Jen was nervous and didn’t know where to go with her eyes. Finally, she found enough courage to go on.

“Can we... can we talk?” She smiled a little, hoping that Lana won’t throw her out.

Lana sat up and put a pillow behind her back.

“What do you wanna talk about?” It sounded like she would laugh at Jen but that wasn’t what she meant to sound like.

“About yesterday... I think we – I – should explain some things.” Jen’s voice was silent but she managed to look Lana in the eyes.

“I think you made it quite clear, Jen. You would regret it later. I got it. We’re still friends, don’t worry.” Lana looked sad but her voice was sure.

“But that’s not true!” Jen cried out in desperation. She didn’t want Lana to think she didn’t like her and that she would regret it. “Can we please just talk?”

Lana’s face expression changed a little with that sentence. It wasn’t true? What exactly wasn’t true? She wouldn’t regret it? But why did she stop then?

“Fine. Let’s talk. What did you want to tell me?” Lana smiled at Jen as a signal that she was not that angry as she looked like.

Jen felt encouraged by that smile and sat further on the bed.

“Well... hm... I...” Jen stopped, looking sheepishly at Lana, her cheeks blushing.

“Jen,” Lana smiled at Jen and took her hand. “Don’t feel embarrassed. Just tell me what you came to tell. I promise I won’t get mad again and I won’t cry.”

“Okay...” Jen rubbed her face and ran her hand through her hair.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you...”

“You didn’t...”

“Please, just let me talk, okay. Don’t interrupt me or I will forget it or I will be too afraid to say it.”

Jen looked like she could break any moment.

“’kay...” Lana smiled a little bit amused, put her hands in her lap and waited patiently until Jen went on.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. And don’t say you weren’t hurt. I saw it in your eyes. I also saw the tears. And I’m sorry about it, really. What I said, I didn’t mean it like that... God, I actually don’t know what I meant and what I didn’t mean...! I was thinking about it the whole night and I still don’t know what to say. I just wanted to talk to you and see that you’re okay. And ... that you’re not angry with me...”

“Me too, Jen...” Lana said silently, looking at Jen from under her lashes.

“You too what?” Jen looked confused.

“I was thinking about it too... And... I don’t know. I don’t know why I reacted that way, I’m sorry about it. Geez, I really feel like a teen girl now. Stupid and embarrassed. What a great sleepover, nice work, Jen, really.”

Lana was back in her good mood. Teasing Jen always improved her mood.

Jen grinned and when she saw that Lana is trying to get up, she grabbed her arm.

“Wait...”

Lana stopped and turned around. She saw that Jen had something more to tell.

“Look, I understand the ‘regretting’ part. I’ve been there. I know what you meant. I really like you, I’m happy that we’re friends and if that should be destroyed because of some kissing, I don’t want it.”

They were both silent for a moment.

“You want to kiss me?”

“What? No, of course not! I didn’t say anything like that!”

“I think you just did...” Jen was looking at Lana with questions in her eyes, waiting for what comes next.

“I didn’t...” Lana got up furiously and grabbed the bathrobe from the chair.

“If you say so...” Jen resigned but went on, “there’s one more thing I wanted to say.” She also stood up and went to Lana. They were standing opposite each other now.

“I just wanted to make it clear that I didn’t stop because I didn’t like you. I do. As I said, you’re a gorgeous woman.  I was just afraid that it’s some momentarily magic we were trapped in. And I just don’t wanna loose you as a friend. That’s all.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure...?”

“Why did you start that? Why did you touch me like that?”

Jen’s face was red.

“I... I don’t know... I guess I just wanted to show you how beautiful you are. You can’t blame me for that!”

“I don’t,” They both laughed when Jen turned the serious atmosphere into fun.

“Can I also ask you a question?” Jen stopped laughing and looked Lana in the eyes.

“Of course...”

“Why did you ask me to kiss you?”

“Well... I guess I wanted to show ...”

“No lies!” Jen wanted to look seriously but had a hard time trying not to laugh.

“The touch just felt good...”

They were looking at each other, standing close. None of them said a word for few moments.

Jen came back to life first.

“Friends again?”

“Never stopped,” Lana smiled and hugged Jen. The hug was tight and lasted a little bit longer than was necessary.

“So, how about you go take a shower and I’ll make some breakfast?” Jen let Lana go and smiled.

“I like that,” Lana smiled. It may look more like a little smirk.

Lana closed the door and Jen let out a confident sigh. That went well. Actually, better than she had expected. Breakfast. Right. She turned around and rushed out of the door and down the stairs, almost falling down, not paying attention as she was thinking how much time she has and what she could do. 


	5. Chapter 5

Jen rushed into Lana’s kitchen, stopping in the middle and looking around. She quickly found some flour, eggs and milk and started to do pancakes. While the pancakes were taking their time baking, she set the table, putting two plates there, cutlery, maple syrup, chocolate and two big cups with hot coffee because God knows they both needed it. She stood back to the cooker to finish the last pancakes. She rested her hands on the counter, lost in her thoughts.

“Boo!” Lana came quietly behind Jen and put her hands next to hers.

“Fuck! Lana! You can’t do this!” Jen jumped a little over the unexpected sound.

“Why not?” Lana smiled innocently.

“Because you scared the shit out of me!” Jen turned around. Lana’s hands were still on the counter so they were now standing centimetres apart.

“Sorry. It smells deliciously.”

Jen trembled a little as she felt Lana’s breath against her face. She was used to Lana being so close to her but right now it just felt... different in some way.

“Thanks,” she said sheepishly.

Few seconds passed while they were standing like that.

“And you also made coffee, you’re amazing!” Lana’s voice sounded maybe a little too thrilled as she said it, going to the table. She could stay there with Jen like that longer if it was her way but she could feel that even this was a little too long for a normal friendly boo-surprise.

Jen took the plate with all the pancakes, set it in the middle of the table and sat herself on the chair opposite to Lana.

“Enjoy your breakfast,” Jen smiled at Lana and started to concentrate on her own meal.

“Thanks,” Lana smiled back and took a piece into her mouth.

“How did I actually deserve a breakfast like this?”

“You didn’t. I just felt like eating some pancakes, you know,” Jen smirked at her friend, putting the fork between her lips and licking it clean.

“Of course you did.” Lana laughed. She loved when they were teasing each other like that.

“Just kidding. I thought maybe we could eat something different than a toast with strawberry jam.”

“I thought you liked my home-made jam? Did you lie?” Lana made her voice sounding shocked and hurt and made a serious face, her eyebrows close, pointing her fork at Jen.

“Yeah. Maybe I’ve just had enough, you know...” Jen was trying not to laugh but had a hard time not to.

“You little...” Lana threw her napkin across the table, trying to hit Jen with it. “I will never ever let you eat it again!”

“Of course you will.” Jen caught the napkin and laughed.

“Nope. I won’t.” Lana was still holding her serious face but the blonde saw her lips’ corners jumping up.

“Let’s see...” Jen stood up and went to the fridge. She opened it and took the glass with the strawberry jam and stuck her finger into it. She put a little on it and led it to her mouth, licking the finger clean with an approving sound. Lana was watching this whole scene with her mouth opened, feeling a little too much attracted to it than she should.

“I guess I just ate it?” she said with a smirk and stuck her finger in the glass once again.

“I said you wouldn’t eat it,” Lana got up quickly and rushed to the blond, trying to take the jam of her hand.

“Whoa, slowly, woman, it’s mine now.”

“No way, you’ve just said you’ve had enough so I get to eat this whole glass.” Lana managed to take it and it was now her turn to stick her finger into it and taste it.

“You could still share, you know,” Jen was trying to win it back but wasn’t very successful.

“And why on earth would I do that?” The brunette laughed genuinely over this.

“Well, maybe because you’re not the Evil Queen?” Jen smirked and took the moment of surprise as her advantage and won the glass back again.

“That’s totally wrong! I am the Evil Queen!” Lana laughed and threw herself at Jen. Her finger was still covered with the jam. She smiled devilishly and painted a line with it across Jen’s nose.

“That’s cheating!” Jen cried out.

“Yep, my dear, it is. I win,” Lana took the glass and ran back to the table.

“For now. Wait for the revenge!” It was Jen’s turn to smile devilishly.

They finished their breakfast in silence then, smirking occasionally at each other.

When they finished, Lana leaned back in her chair.

“So, what do you want to do today?”

“I don’t know. Something easy, I’m still a bit tired.” The blonde ran her hand through her hair and got up. “You want some more coffee?”

“No, thanks. So do you rather want to stay here?”

“Maybe we could go out, it’s a nice day today. Can we make a lazy day outside, when we made a lazy day inside yesterday?”

“Sure. I was thinking you could use some sun, you look too pale next to me,” Lana smirked, obviously teasing the blonde again.

“And why does it matter what I look like?”

“It doesn’t...”

Jen was about to say something, her mouth already opened when the brunette went on.

“Because you always look great.” She was grabbing the dishes from the table, so she doesn’t have to look Jen in the eyes.

The blonde was a little bit surprised, expecting some more teasing but no real meant compliments. She didn’t say anything more and helped Lana to clean the table.

When they put everything into the dishwasher, Lana pointed her finger at Jen: “We’re leaving in a half an hour,” and went out of the kitchen.

“And where are we going to?” Jen yelled behind her.

“I have no idea yet.  But don’t be late!”

How typical of her, Jen thought grinning and went to change her clothes.


	6. Chapter 6

“And where are we going to?” Jen yelled behind her.

“I have no idea yet.  But don’t be late!”

How typical of her, Jen thought grinning and went to change her clothes.

Jen wore her jean shorts and a simple tank top, something she learned from her character. She loved dressing nicely and wearing dresses and all the fancy things but sometimes she enjoyed just being comfortable, especially in summer.

She was sitting in the hall, browsing through some magazine, when Lana came in. More like she danced in.

“You are going to need this and also some big sunglasses. You have some?” Lana was holding two summer hats, she handed one of them to Jen.

“I have just this one. Why do I need a summer hat and big sunglasses?” Jen put the magazine on the table and was looking a bit confused at Lana.

“Because... we’re going to a fairground and I don’t want anyone to disturb us.”  She sat on the other chair next to Jen and looked at her a little bit embarrassed.

“I mean, I love my fans and I always love exchanging few words with them, but I would like just to enjoy a fun day with you... Is it that bad?”

Jen smiled at her, full of understanding and put the hat on her head.

“No. Not at all. Come on, let’s go,” Jen got up from her chair and took Lana’s hand, pulling her up. She didn’t let the hand go until they came to the door. Lana wasn’t sure if Jen knew she was still holding her hand, but she didn’t mind. She smiled happily and let Jen lead the way to the door.

They took Lana’s car and went to the park. There was some festival going on. As they got there, they got hit by the smell of all different food. There were hot dogs, pancakes, cotton candy, different nuts and all kind of things.

They were standing at the entrance, looking around, amazed by all the things and carousels and roller coasters.

“Wow. I haven’t done anything like this in ages! Can we do everything?” Jen was very excited and was almost jumping like a child.

“But of course! That’s why we are here! I also want to eat everything they have here.” Lana got even more excited when she saw Jen’s enthusiasm.

“Great. We should better start right now,” and with that Jen was pulling Lana to the first kiosk.

They ordered the cotton candy and were waiting in silence.  The girl who was making it seemed young, apparently doing her summer job. She was constantly looking at them. Both of them noticed that and tugged their hats more over their eyes, not looking up.

“I’m sorry, but you seem quite familiar to me, do we know each other?” She asked as she was giving them the cotton candy.

“No, we’ve never been to this area before, sorry,” Jen mumbled that while taking the two pink cotton candies and Lana paid for it quickly.

“Well, let’s hope this was the first and last one who recognized us...” Jen didn’t seem very happy that they were almost revealed.

“Yeah... maybe we shouldn’t talk to anyone, just show what we want.” Lana suggested as she stack a big piece of the candy into her mouth.

“Or maybe you could speak Spanish,” Jen smirked at Lana.

“No way!”

“Yeah, that’s right, they would recognize your sexy voice anyway.”

“What do you mean?” Lana looked shocked but also amused and a little bit pleased.

“I mean...just listen to yourself sometimes, the way you talk when you give some interview, it’s not talking, you purr like a cat...”

“What?” Lana just stopped on place, looking at Jen unbelievably.

“What? Nothing. I’m not saying anything anymore, you said we shouldn’t talk.” Jen turned around because she didn’t want Lana to see her completely red face.

“That’s right, stop talking,” and with that, Lana put a big piece of that cotton candy into Jen’s mouth.

“Wh-“ Jen opened her mouth in surprise so Lana was able to stuck her fingers into Jen’s mouth. When she was pulling her fingers out, she felt Jen’s tongue on her fingers. She wasn’t sure if it was on purpose but the touch went through her whole body and she just smirked.

They spent the whole day there, trying out everything possible but more importantly, having fun doing all this together. Every time they opened their mouths, they were only teasing each other, smirking and giggling.

“Hey! Stop it!” Jen cried out laughing when Lana poked her into her waist with her elbow.  They were just sitting on a bank, resting for a while in the sun.

“Why?” Lana was laughing and poked Jen once again.

“Because it’s not funny!”

“It is. It’s fun for me,” and with that Lana just started tickling Jen. They were both laughing; Jen was trying to move out of Lana’s reach. At least she was pretending to otherwise it would be no fun.

“Stop! Stop! Stop, my stomach hurts from all the laughing!” Jen was out of her breath, catching Lana’s hands on her waist.

Lana looked up at Jen and for two seconds they were looking into each other’s eyes just centimetres apart, with Lana’s hands covered with Jen’s still on her waist.

The mood between them changed a little bit, the moment became more serious, the laughing stopped.

“Okay,” Lana said softly and pulled her hands back. She said back properly and put her head on Jen’s shoulder. “I’m so glad it’s not weird between us.”

“Yeah, me too.” Jen smiled and rested her head on Lana’s, closing her eyes and facing the sun.

In that moment, they were both happy, not caring about the reason, not caring about their feelings or about other people.

And without thinking, Jen took Lana’s hand which was resting next to hers. Lana squeezed Jen’s and they were sitting there, enjoying the sun.


	7. Chapter 7

They were sitting on the floor in Lana’s living room later in that day, drinking some wine and having a rest.

“Gosh, my feet are hurting!” Lana straightened her legs and moved with her feet.

“No wonder, we’ve been walking almost the whole day... And in those shoes you were wearing...” Jen said as she was looking at Lana over the edge of her glass.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Lana acted a little bit offended and poked Jen in her arm, but she knew that it was just pretend.

“Nothing! Hey, leave me alone, I’m gonna have bruises from you!” Jen was rubbing her arm like Lana would hit her with her fist. “Can you pass me the remote, please? This show is boring.”

“What? No, I like it!”

“You’re not even watching it...”

“Because you keep distracting me!”

“Do I?” Jen smirked, put her glass back on the table and reached out for the remote which was right next to Lana. Lana didn’t want to give up so easily and reacted very quickly, picking it up from the floor and holding it above her head.

“Oh c’mon, Lana, gimme that!” Lana’s left arm was in the air. Jen had to shift so she could reach up with her right hand.

“If you want it, try to get it,” Lana laughed and moved a little bit back. In that moment, Jen tried to get her hand, which made Lana lose her balance and she fell back, lying on the carpet. Jen landed right on top of her.

Lana’s left arm was still above her head but she stopped laughing. As she felt Jen falling down on her, her instincts made her reach out her right arm to try to catch Jen. Jen was now lying there on top of her, with her right arm stretched out as she was trying to get the remote, with Lana’s right hand on her waist.

“Oh, hey,” Jen spoke softly, almost whispering. Lana’s hot hand on her waist was making her nervous. And it was not just the burning hand that was making her nervous. Their faces were centimetres apart; they could almost feel each other’s breath. Almost, because it seemed like they would hold it, surprised with that moment.

Lana could feel Jen’s whole body on hers, she could feel her boobs on hers, she felt the arm which was trying to get the remote on her arm. She could feel Jen’s legs as they were resting on each side of her left leg. Her thoughts were running in all directions in that moment. She was sure she could feel Jen’s body with every cell in her body. She wished she wasn’t wearing that long skirt she wore when it was hot in her house because Jen was still wearing her shorts. She wished her hand would have landed a little bit lower on Jen’s body. She wished they could lie like this the whole night.

She had to wink a few times to make these thoughts go away. She was losing herself in that green eyes. She panicked a little bit over all those thoughts on her mind. Damnit! Stop it, Lana, what are you thinking?! She was mad at herself for even thinking this.

“So, um, I guess I won?” Lana laughed nervously and smiled at Jen.

“Yes, I guess you did,” Jen smiled back and got up.

They were sitting in silence for a while, sipping on their wine and watching the silly tv show, not really caring about it. They were both lost in their thoughts.

Jen was kind of confused. As she got up from Lana, she immediately missed her body, the warmth of it, the touch. Not because she would be cold. But because it was... Lana.

“Jen?”

“Hm?” Jen lifted her eyes curiously. Lana’s tone was hesitant, like she would be afraid to really ask what she wanted to and that made Jen not just curious, but also afraid of what might come.

“It’s Saturday in two days and you...” She couldn’t finish what she was saying because Jen interrupted her.

“And you can’t wait when I get out of here, right?” Jen’s heart sank a little bit. Her laugh was forced. She wasn’t sure if it is really just Lana’s joke and teasing or if she really means it. She knew they cleared everything between them after that.... incident but she was still a little bit unsure.

“What? No! Not at all. Quite the opposite. I wanted to ask you if you... if you would like to stay a little bit longer?” Lana lifted her eyes from her glass as she finished. She wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. To say things were good between them was one thing but if they really felt that way, that was the question. And she didn’t want to scare Jen away. She spent quite a lot of time alone lately and she enjoyed some company. Especially when it was Jen. She felt relaxed when she was with her, no stress, no worries, she was enjoying the time, she was trying not to think too much about things and just live. Of course there was _that_ thing that happened yesterday. It brought quite some confusion in her life and she was unsure in everything that involved that direction of things but she decided not to think about it, not much, not now, because overthinking only makes things worse.

“Oh, right, sorry. I thought you wanted to get rid of me, you know,” Jen said laughing, the relief noticeable in her voice.

“No. Why would I do that?” Lana smiled, watching Jen finishing her wine quickly as she tried to hide her red face.

“Well, you tell me...” Jen put her glass on the table and felt a little bit ashamed that she brought this up again and she knew that Lana knew what she was talking about.

“No. So? Will you stay?” Expectation and hope could be heard in her voice.

“I don’t know... Should I?” Jen desperately wanted to say yes, but she wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. And also, she didn’t want to sound too excited. She looked in Lana’s eyes and saw the answer there. “But of course, if you want me to stay, I’ll,” Jen gave Lana one of her charming smiles.

“Thank you. Now, I’m going to bed because it’s midnight again and I’m exhausted. Good night, Jen.” Lana smiled at her, picked up the empty glasses and the bottle and left the living room.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Jen picked up herself from the floor and went into her room. She was tired but she didn’t want to admit it. She didn’t want to be the first one to say it, the one who says that they both go their separate ways into their rooms. But she wanted to have a shower and get some sleep.

Wait. Why wouldn’t she want to be the one who calls it a night? Because she didn’t want to go into her room and spend the night al... Bullshit! That’s not it! It can’t be it! Jen wiped the water from her eyes furiously and rubbed the shampoo into her hair.

That’s just nonsense. She enjoyed spending time on her own, she needed some time alone and staying at some friends’ place always meant that the only time she can be alone was during the night in her bed. So why the hell wouldn’t she want that now? She couldn’t recall any actual moment during the last week that she would be alone. Of course except the night time. And yet she still feels absolutely comfortable around Lana, she doesn’t feel any need to go for a walk or go to bed early and doing something else just to get few hours on her own.

It freaked her out. She closed the water and was drying herself. Her skin was red from all the rubbing as it looked like she was trying to get all the thoughts out of her head and not to think for a while.

Her mind was busy and she couldn’t sleep. Her mind was actually just Lana. Nothing else but everything that involved Lana.

But it’s a good thing to have a friend whom you can spend no matter how much time with and it still feels good, right? Jen was confused. One moment she was happy and excited that she agreed to stay longer and the other moment she wasn’t that sure anymore because she was confused about her excitement and got scared.

She was staring at the ceiling and pictures were running in front of her eyes. She tried to control them at first. She didn’t want to think about what happened yesterday, it already felt like a long time ago. She didn’t want to think about today, about the perfect day. But soon she realised that the more she’s trying to control her mind, the more pictures and moments spent with Lana are coming into her mind.

Her mind was wandering through all the time she spend it with Lana. She was thinking about all the scenes she was shooting with her. About season one when there was a lot of fighting, even actual fighting and they were both so scared that they would hurt each other. They were both fine with hurting themselves but every time they hit or pushed the other one a bit stronger, they stopped and wanted to make sure they are okay. Jen smiled as she remembered the director getting cross with them because it took a long time to shoot that scene.

She remembered different scenes from season two when Regina was hurt by someone. Jen was sometimes watching when her friends were shooting. She remembers that seeing Lana all hurt and falling apart was killing her inside, it hurt her even when she knew it wasn’t actually Lana. Every time Lana was shooting some emotional scene, Jen was ready at the set bringing Lana some coffee or hot chocolate or an ice cream in summer. She wanted to see Lana smiling again so she never saved compliments.

Lana was always grateful for some refreshment and always gave Jen her brightest smile. Somehow it became a habit and every time one of them had an emotionally difficult scene, the other one brought something. That’s how they became friends. Talking over a cup of coffee got them closer.

And then during the season three finale she forgot her lines few times because she was distracted by the evil queen’s cleavage. Of course she saw her in those dress many times before. But she never had a scene with the Evil Queen before. So when the guards were holding her in front of Regina and she was supposed to say her line, she got lost in her mind and then she heard “Cut” for the third time and the director asked her if she even saw that script because she looked like she had no idea what to say. 

When they finished shooting in those dresses, Lana came to her, offering some chocolate. And she said one sentence that Jen could still hear in her head like it was just a minute ago.

“I know you read the script many times,” and she smirked. Jen didn’t have a chance to ask what that was supposed to mean because others came around and then it was all forgotten.

Jen smiled in her bed and blushed because she was realising that she got caught staring at the “Evil boobs”.

Her mind wandered to the kiss that happened yesterday. Jen closed her eyes. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach, her whole body shivered and the warmth ran down between her legs. She touched her lips like she could catch Lana’s touch. She could still feel some of the wine running through her veins. She moved her hand from her lips down and stopped on her breasts. She rubbed them for a while, picturing Lana in her head. When her hand was heading down her flesh, she stopped. She opened her eyes and sat on her bed.

Oh my God.

Oh. My. God.

Fuck!

OH-MY-GOD!

Does this mean...?

Does this all mean that she’s...

She rubbed her eyes and got up from her bed quickly.

That can’t be.

She went in to the bathroom and threw a lot of cold water on her face. When her hands started to get cold, she stopped the water and looked at herself in the mirror.

... in love with Lana?

Oh no.

Shit.

What is she going to do?

She felt dizzy from all the thoughts running through her head. Her throat got dry. She needed to drink something. She remembered having a glass on her night stand.

But of course, there was no glass because she brought it into the kitchen before dinner. The alarm clock showed that it’s 1am. Jen opened the door carefully and listened. The house was still, there was no sound to be heard so she decided to go to the kitchen.


	9. Chapter 9

Lana put the two glasses and the empty bottle on the kitchen counter and went upstairs to her bedroom. She didn’t really feel tired. She was happy. She took a shower, smiling. She was getting dressed into her pyjama and she was still smiling. She was lying in her bed, still smiling.

She was happy because Jen agreed to stay longer. They haven’t settled how much longer, but she didn’t care. She was happy to spend some more time with her friend. With her best friend. With someone who brings a smile on her face every time, with someone who cares about her and her feelings, with someone who brings her ice cream when she’s having a tough day. With someone whom she can fool around with, like a small child and she doesn’t feel embarrassed. With someone to whom she can tell what she thinks and Jen is not laughing at her. She can spend more time with the person who awakes that special feeling in her heart.

Lana sighed. Isn’t this feeling supposed to be awoken by the person you are in love with? She wrinkled her eyebrows. In love? Does this mean that she is in love with Jen when she is the one who brings all these feelings into her heart?

She was staring in to the dark for a while. Her mind was blank.

“So... I guess I am...”

That couldn’t be true. No! No love.

Not Jen.

Lana turned around on her back and was staring at the ceiling. She was a little bit concerned. Not with the fact that Jen is a woman. That was not that. Lana has always realised that she liked women in kind of a homosexual way. She liked them in a romantic way, or whatever you want to call it. It doesn’t matter after all.

She always had some girl’s crush, especially at high school when her friends were crazy about different actors and she was crazy not just about some actors but also about her teacher, a woman. But it never made her worried. So she liked women too, so what...

But never before had she met a woman who would evoke these feeling in her like Jen did. A woman who she would like to be with.

The problem here was that it was Jen. Jen, her best friend, who likes men. Not women. Or at least Lana has never really heard her talking about some woman in a different way than all women did. Jen always complimented her female friends but there was nothing more in it.

Lana went through the whole week she spent with Jen. Through every moment. Especially the last day. She was so afraid that it would be weird between them after the kiss. But it seemed that it was even better.

She wasn’t really sure but it felt like there were more touches than usually, the touches that look like unintentional but you can never be sure about that. Like when Jen handed her something or took something from her and touched her fingers, when they were tickling each other and their hands were just resting on each other for a while.

She felt that in that moment, they were both happy.

Because it was all spontaneous and they weren’t worried about what the other thinks.

She remembered what Jen said about the kiss. That she just didn’t want to destroy their friendship. That everything she said about her was true. How gorgeous she is, about her lips, the scar, about her cleavage. Lana smiled when she remembered the season finale when she was shooting with Jen as the Evil Queen for the first time. She knew Jen was distracted by her cleavage and it flattered her.

But even when it seemed like Jen really wanted to kiss her and stopped just because she was worried about their friendship, that doesn’t mean that she has some feelings for Lana too. It could just mean that she was curious and wanted to try to kiss a woman.

How big is actually the chance that she would reciprocate her feelings?

Not very big.

Lana sighed again. She wasn’t sure what to do. On one hand she was happy but on the other hand she wasn’t so sure anymore if it was a good idea to ask Jen to stay longer.

She needed to figure out her feelings first. Well, more like what to do with her feelings. She didn’t know what to do.

The most reasonable thing would be just move on, ignore those feelings and continue being friends with Jen. But it would take some time and everything could change. Every touch and smile could hurt because she would know she can never have her in a way she would like to.

Then there’s of course the other option. To express her feelings. But that’s a big risk and she wasn’t sure that she would like to risk it. She knows Jen. She knows she wouldn’t freak out. She would just hear her out and probably explained that she’s flattered, that she likes her but in a different way. She would assure her that they will still be friends. But how can you be best friends with someone who tells you that she’s in love with you?

Lana looked at the clock. It was 1am and there was no sign about her sleep coming to her. No wonder. Her mind didn’t seem like wanting to shut up and let her have a rest.

She closed her eyes and tried do some counting so her mind was occupied with something what is not Jen. She was falling asleep when she heard a bang sounding like breaking glass.

She sat up on her bed quickly and listened. It definitely came from downstairs.

What if something happened to her? What if someone is trying to break into her house? She need to see if Jen is okay.


	10. Chapter 10

Jen came in to the kitchen quietly.  The two wine glasses were still standing on the kitchen counter. She took a glass from the cupboard and poured cold water in it.  She was confused and her body was shaking.

She felt relieved that she finally knew what was going on, what she actually felt. But on the other hand, she was scared. She was scared because Lana was her best friend. She was scared because this whole thing was new to her. Of course she had had some female crushes before but she just adored the women’s work, their dedication for their work, their enthusiasm, she appreciated their appearance.

But it had never happened before that some woman would make her nervous but comfortable at the same time. No woman had given her butterflies. There was no woman who she would like to hold in her arms, tuck her hair behind her ear and kiss her cheek goodnight. No woman that she would like to kiss on her lips and make love to her... It’s always been only men.

“No!” She cried out and threw one of the wine glasses in front of her on the floor.

“No, no, no,” it became a whisper. Hot tears were running down her cheeks and she was shaking visibly.  She collapsed down on the floor and hugged her knees.

The silence was suddenly cut off with quick steps running down the stairs.

Fuck. Lana is coming down.

Jen woke up from her thoughts and wiped away the few tears.

Lana must have heard the breaking glass. Jen remembered throwing it quite hard against the floor, with all her anger and fear.

She started to pick up the glass fragments when the door flew opened.

Lana stopped in the door frame to see what was happening. The light was not on but it was not completely dark either because of the moon.

“Jen! Jen, are you okay?”

Lana turned the light on and rushed to her friend.

Jen turned with her back to Lana so she couldn’t see her face.

“Yes,” she mumbled, barely audible.

“What happened?” Lana asked, not quite understanding how this small glass could make such a noise.

“I didn’t see the glass...” Jen said quietly because she was afraid how her voice would sound. She continued picking up the pieces of the broken glass but she was mad at herself and nervous because Lana was watching her and she cut herself.

“Shit!” Jen hissed when she felt the piercing pain.

“I’ll help you,” Lana said and sit next to Jen, “You should have turned the light on,” she laughed. She was glad that nothing bad happened and that it was just a broken glass.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t.” Jen barked out.

It left Lana a bit confused but then she saw the blonde’s finger.

“Come on, Jen, you’re bleeding, let me help you,” Lana said softly and caught Jen’s hand.

“No!” Jen cried out and moved her hand quickly from Lana’s hold. All the glass pieces fell down on the floor again.

She got up and went to the sink so she could wash the blood from her hand.

“Jen? Jen are you okay?” There was surprise and concern in Lana’s voice. She got up as well and went to Jen but she didn’t dare to touch her again.

“Of course I’m okay! Do I not look okay to you?” She knew she didn’t look okay but Lana was the last person who could make her feel okay again. But maybe also the only one... She was shouting but she knew that if she wouldn’t, her voice would betray her and she would cry.

“Jen, please, honey, just tell me what happened. You seemed alright when I went to bed...” Lana touched Jen’s shoulder carefully; she thought she could make the blonde turn around to face her.

“Nothing! Nothing happened, ‘kay? Just leave me alone, would you?” She shook Lana’s hand off of her shoulder. Her voice broke and she could feel few tears on her cheeks. She turned around and headed to the kitchen door.

“Jen...” It was a whisper, full of pain, not understanding what was happening, asking her to stay.

The pain in Lana’s voice stopped Jennifer. She stopped and was standing there for a moment, thinking what she should do. But it hurt her that Lana should be in pain because of her, so she turned around.

Lana was standing there, with her hands helplessly along her body, with few shiny tears in her eyes.

“You are hurting me, you know... please...” Lana whispered as she was trying not to cry but couldn’t finish because Jen interrupted her.

Jen made one small step towards the brunette.

“I know...” she whispered as well as it seemed inappropriate to use a normal voice, “And I’m sorry. I don’t want to...” her voice broke and she was crying, not really caring about it right now, “but I can’t... I don’t... sorry...”

She turned around quickly and ran out of the kitchen, leaving Lana standing there, crying as well, confused, hurt and longing for to be allowed to comfort her friend.


	11. Chapter 11

Jen turned around quickly and ran out of the kitchen, leaving Lana standing there, crying as well, confused, hurt and longing for to be allowed to comfort her friend.

Jen ran into her room and threw herself on her bed. She buried her face into the pillows and cried. It was loud sobs, not some quiet girly crying.

But that’s good, crying is good. It brings relieve, it washes away the bad things, the fear, the anger, the stress, even when just for a while. It helps you to get rid of the frustration.

She was mad at herself that she was rude to Lana. That was the last thing she wanted to do. Because you never want to hurt the persons you have feelings for, your family, your friends. But sometimes it’s the only possibility. When we feel threatened, we try to protect ourselves. To save ourselves from being hurt, we hurt others.

♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀

Lana was left in her kitchen in pure disbelief. Tears were running down her face and she couldn’t stop them. She could see that Jen was hurting. She could see it in her eyes; hear it in the aggressive way of her talking. She wished she could help Jen, damn, it’s the only thing she wanted to do but she sensed that she was the reason of Jen’s outburst. And that was hurting her even more. It was like a circle and she could do anything unless Jen would let her.

Lana turned off the lights in the kitchen and went to the stairs. She stopped at Jen’s door. She could hear muffled sobs. She hesitated for a while with her hand on the door ready to knock but then she changed her mind.

She knew Jen. If she was hurting and especially because of the reason Lana thought, it was better to let her cry and process everything.

The brunette sighed and went to her bedroom. She lied on her right side, with her back to the door, watching the stars that could be seen out of her window and let the tears flow down her face.

♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀

Soon the blonde ran out of her tears. She was exhausted from all the crying and all her emotions changing like the weather in April. She was tired but she couldn’t sleep. Lying in a fatal position, trying to stop her brain from thinking, but that was far away from possible. She felt like she needs to figure this out before morning, before she has to face Lana because she wasn’t sure if she could face her without another outburst, more crying and more shouting.

She didn’t want to hurt her. She wanted to hold her and shout into her face that she was scared. She was so scared that she was shaking. She wanted Lana to tell her that everything is going to be fine, that nothing is wrong.

This thought caught Jen’s attention more than any other. She tried to fight it, going to talk to Lana in the middle of the night was a crazy idea but it became the only way how Jen would be able to calm herself. She wanted to see that Lana was alright, that she wasn’t hurt, that she didn’t hurt her.

The blonde got up from her bed and sneak out of her room for the second time that night. She was walking quietly, in case the brunette would be sleeping. She reached her door and knocked quietly, then opened it.

“Lana…? Lana, are you sleeping?” Her voice was hardly audible; it was low from all the crying, ready to break again any minute.

“No,” the brunette’s answer was also quiet. She didn’t move, not being sure if she could bear seeing her dear friend broken and crying without letting the tears fall down her own face again.

Jen closed the door behind her and made few steps towards Lana’s big bed.

“Can I…” she stopped, not sure what to say, suddenly it didn’t seem to be such a good idea anymore.

Lana turned around and leaned against the bed frame.

“I wanted just…” Jen tried to continue but finished with throwing her hands helplessly in the air.

“Come here, Jen.” Lana smiled at her friend and petted the spot on the other half of the bed.

Jen thought about it for a second but her body moved before she could stop it. She climbed onto the bed and lay down.

“I wanted to say…” a quiet sob escaped her throat. She turned around with her back to Lana, it was easier to talk like that. “I’m sorry… I didn’t… I don’t want to… to hurt you.” She was already crying again, not able to stop herself.

“Sorry,” Jen wiped her tears away and took a deep breath.

“That’s okay. Shhh…” Lana lay down as well and hugged her.  “Just tell me what’s going on, I want to help you.” Lana’s voice was soft, trying to comfort her.

Jen didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know how to say it without having to say it.

“I’m… I’m sc… I’m scared! Lana, I am so scared…” Jen’s body was shaking from all the sobs.

“Don’t cry, baby, c’mon, it’s gonna be okay.” Lana was playing the big spoon now. “What are you scared of?”

They were both quiet for a moment, Jen afraid to tell and Lana afraid what the answer might be.

“My feelings…” The answer was so silent that Lana almost didn’t hear it. “…to you…” Jen added, just to make it clear and have it over with.

A small smile appeared on Lana’s face. She felt relieved because now she knew her friend felt the same way towards her. She was dragged back into reality when Jen, afraid of what is going to happen, pulled her legs closer to her chin.

Lana tightened her grip and found Jen’s hand. She tangled her fingers with the blonde’s ones.

“I know you are scared. I am also a little bit scared. But you don’t have to be. I hold you. I’m not letting you go. Do you understand?” In case her soft and soothing voice and her words weren’t enough to express what she meant, she kissed Jen’s bare shoulder.

“Do you understand it, Jen?” Lana asked again, whispering and to confirm her words, she kissed her shoulder again.

“Yes,” Jen squeezed Lana’s hand. She could hear a smile in that one word and it calmed her a bit.

They were lying in silence for a while, before Jen spoke again.

“What is going to happen now? What does this mean? What do we mean?” Her voice sounded a little bit desperate, she needed Lana to assure her about everything.

 “I promise that nothing you wouldn’t want to won’t happen. This means that I like you. And I guess you like me too. Let’s start with that, focus on that, that’s the only thing that matters now. Just please stop crying, it’s going to be fine, I promise.” To assure her and comfort her, Lana was soothing Jen’s hand with her thumb, still holding her.

The blonde sighted, her body relaxed under the touch.

“Thank you.” Jen lifted their hands and bring them to her mouth. She kissed Lana’s hand and then closed her eyes.

In these two words and that one kiss there was more than that. It was a sorry for all the drama, it was a thank you for staying by her side and not kicking her out, it was a promise.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Jen woke up with a light, joyful feeling. She instantly remembered last night. Her heart ached when she recalled Lana’s hurt expression but then she smiled, feeling the brunette’s hand on her stomach. The warmth from that touch made her happy. She lifted Lana’s arm carefully and turned around slowly to face the woman who probably stole her heart, trying not to wake her up.

Lana was awake as soon as she felt Jen’s touch on her hand. She smiled when the blonde was facing her.

“Good morning.”

“Morning,” the blonde smiled too, resting her arm on Lana’s, which was still on her left side.

“How are you feeling?” Lana’s eyebrows frowned in concern a bit.

The green eyes were staring into the shining chocolate ones before she replied.

“Happy,” she smiled, “relieved. “But what about you?” Her face crossed a shadow of worry.

“Also happy.”

Lana lifted herself on her elbow and was gazing into Jen’s eyes. Their lips were parted, their breaths were deep as they were both trying to control the fast heart beating.

The brunette reached out her hand, cupping the blonde’s cheek and stroking her cheekbone. She was leaning closer, slowly, so slowly that it almost wasn’t visible.

Jen wanted to grab Lana’s head and pull her closer but that would ruin the magic in their first kiss. First real kiss.

Lana smiled before she finally closed the space between them. Their lips touched softly, staying like that for a while, enjoying the feeling. Jen was the first one who actually started with kissing, but it was slow, without a hurry because right now, they had all the time in the world.

Lana stopped, opening her eyes and watching the blonde. She lay back down without breaking the eye contact.

“You are beautiful,” she whispered.

Jen blushed lightly and dropped her eyes.

“Thank you. Thank you for this.” Her voice was full of gratefulness and guilt.

“Jen… Jen, look at me. Everything is fine, I promise. Let it go, okay? And now, come here.” Lana pulled the blonde up into her arms. Jen was lying on the brunette’s shoulder who was hugging her, with her arm around her waist.

“Okay. I’ll try. You know, I’m really happy right now.” The smile was audible in Jen’s words while she was drawing circles on Lana’s stomach unthinkingly.

“Me too.” She pressed her lips into the blond curls tickling her chin.

“You know what the best thing is?” Jen said playfully.

“Tell me.”

“That I can kiss you now as much as I want. I couldn’t stop thinking about your lips.” Jen turned her head and looked Lana in her eyes. “Can I?”

“You have to.”

Their lips joined again. It wasn’t the slow kiss again. This time it was passionate. Jen pulled herself up and was now lying on half of Lana’s body, tangling her right hand in Lana’s hair and cupping her face with her left hand.

Lana pushed the blond curls out of her face, searching her waist with the other hand and pulling the younger woman closer.

Jen licked Lana’s lips, begging her to open her mouth.

“Look, who’s suddenly not so scared anymore,” the brunette laughed happily.

“Oh shut up!”

“Or what?”

“Or I’m gonna bite you!”

“I might like that.” Lana smirked and captured the pink lips once again.

Okay, Jen thought and bit the red bottom lip, caressing it with her teeth carefully. Lana rewarded her with a moan, pulling Jen even closer, licking her lips and finding her tongue. Jen’s hand slipped down Lana’s face, stopping on her hips, tugging the hem of the black top up a bit so she could touch the bare skin. At first with two of her fingers, soon with her palm, searching for more skin to touch and caress.

The kissing became pretty passionate as they finally could show their affection and feelings, hands roaming hot bodies. Jen started to be impatient and led her hand up, cupping Lana’s right boob. She squeezed it and when she felt the hard nipple through the fabric, she ran her thumb over it lightly.

Lana arched her back, leaning more into the touch. The blonde smiled in to the kiss and squeezed again.

“Jen… Jen…” Lana was breathless but she pushed the blonde’s face a little bit further so she could look in her eyes.

“Hm?” Jen looked at her, smiling, her hand still stroking the brunette’s boob.

Lana took the hand gently and the younger woman lay down next to her, concern written all over her face.

“Did I do something wrong? Because I’ve never…”

“No, Jen, you didn’t. You are doing very well... Can we just… can we slow don’t a bit, please?” She was still holding the other woman’s hand, putting it above her left breast, just where her heart is.

“Oh, sure, sorry, I think I got carried away…” She smiled apologetically. “I just thought, after… you know… you seemed like you wanted…”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, Jen, I do, so much. But that time, it was different. Now that we are together, I want to do it the right way and not to sleep with you immediately. “

“Together, huh?” Jen smiled nervously, caressing Lana’s skin.

“Aren’t we?” There was a brief mark of fear in Lana’s voice.

“Yes, we are.” The blonde pulled herself closer and kissed her girlfriends cheek. “It’s just, even tho this feels amazing, I still feel a bit scared, you know…”

“That’s why you have me. And that’s why I want to take things slowly. I don’t want to do anything to scare you away.”

“You mean like sleeping with me?” Jen laughed.

“No, you silly. But you said you’ve never slept with a woman?”

The blonde nodded.

“So I would like it to be perfect for you.”

“ _You_ are perfect. And that’s enough. “ Jen smiled, looking in to the chocolate eyes full of adoration. Then she dropped her eyes. “This is silly… It kind of feels like the first time, you know, so yes, I’m a bit nervous about it and I feel like before the first first time, not really sure what to do… I mean, of course I know what to do, I know how it works but… does it makes sense?”

“It does make sense. Just relax. “ Lana hugged Jen, pulling her closer to her. “And when we decide that it’s the perfect time, for both of us, you will know exactly what to do. You just need to follow your instinct. And do only what you are comfortable with, not what you think you should do. Okay?”

“Are we having the sex talk?”

“I’m serious, Jen.”

“I know. Thanks. And now, when we don’t have sex, can we at least stay like this the whole morning? Or until we’re starving?” Jen wrapped her arms around Lana and before she fully relaxed, she kissed her shoulder.

“I’d love to.”


	13. Chapter 13

They were tiding up together after their breakfast they’ve just had. They stopped every now and then to smile at each other or kiss each other, on the lips, on the cheeks or a shoulder, both feeling butterflies in their stomach.

When the kitchen was clean again, Jen leaned against the kitchen counter.

“You know, I was thinking… You said you want to do things the right way… So I’d like to take you out for a dinner.”

“Jen, I don’t think we can…” the brunette frowned a bit and made few steps closer to the blonde.

“Don’t worry. I know we probably can’t go to some fancy restaurant. But I would just like to have a nice dinner with you.”

“We can do it here. We can order something or we can cook together, that would be fun.” Lana smiled and hugged Jen around her waist.

“No. I want it to be special. I want to take you on a date. I have a plan.” Jen smirked and kissed her. “So I’ll disappear now and then I’ll come back for you.”

“It’s half past ten, do you really need so much time to cook dinner?” Lana teased her and just kissed her lightly on her lips.

“No, I don’t need so much time for cooking, but there are other things I need to arrange. And I need to make sure I can even do what I plan.”

“Should I be scared?”

“Never,” Jen smiled and kissed Lana on the top of her nose.

“Okay. What should I wear?”

“Well, it’s going to be a romantic dinner date so…” the blonde winked at her. “I’m kidding, you can wear whatever you want to and you’ll look great.” With that, she left the kitchen.

“Jen! What time should I be ready?”

“Hm, let’s say around six? I’ll call you.” She took few things and closed the door to her room. “See you tonight, gorgeous,” she pulled Lana closer and gave her a promising kiss.

\---

Lana stayed looking at the front door with a dreamy smile on her face. Then she went back to the kitchen, looked around and went to the living room. She sat on the couch, looked around again and sighted. Jen was staying with her for a week now and she really enjoyed her company. Now that she was alone, even just for half of the day, she wasn’t sure what to do. She would maybe know what to do but she was nervous right the instant Jen went out of the door and she was only thinking about getting ready.

What should she wear? Should she do something with her hair or just leave it down? And more important, where is Jen taking her?

She doesn’t think that Jen would take her to some restaurant, they actually agreed on that. And as much as they like each other and enjoy being together and are honest about what they feel, no matter if it’s joy or fear, Lana didn’t think it would help if someone would see them having a dinner together, even as friends. Everything was still too fragile, they needed time.

So that meant that Jen was about to cook but where? And where would they eat it? In a park? As much as Lana would love to have a picnic, there would be people too.

She was excited about the surprise but also nervous. It was their first date.

Lana got up and went to the bathroom to run a bath. She put relaxing oil in it to calm her nerves.

\---

Jen took her car and went to check the place she was planning to spend the evening at. She was grateful to her friend for asking her to check that place while she was gone.

She looked if there was everything she needed for the cooking, then she wrote a list of what she needed to buy and left again.

The blonde wasn’t able to stay still, she was nervous and needed to do something. They have had a dinner together before, not just during this week, they also cooked for each other but this was different. It was a date. A real date. A first date. And it was Lana, the most gorgeous woman she has ever seen. Not just that, also an unbelievably kind, generous and loving person.

And, Lana has dated women before. Not that there would be a difference between dating men and women. But it was new to Jen and she was a little bit scared of the new and unknown things and she needed to feel like she has control over the beginning relationship. Making a perfect first date for them seemed like a good way how to have things firmly in her hands.

\---

When six o’clock was coming, Lana started to be nervous. She was checking her phone every moment, what if she wouldn’t hear it ringing? She was walking through the house, mostly in the living room because she could see the road from the window, in case Jen decided not to call before.

She has been in different relationships before, both with women and men but this was different. They have been friends for a long time, they knew each other well, they have shared secrets before, they knew what the other one likes and dislikes, they knew who they dated before, they knew some of each other’s rituals. And then they fell in love. If this works out, they earn a lover to the friendship they already have. But if it doesn’t work out, they lose the friend they value so much.

So of course she was nervous and also a bit afraid. Not about herself. The days before Jen wasn’t able to admit her feelings and now she’s planning their first date. Lana knew that this was her way of coping with the unknown things but somewhere deep in her mind she was afraid that Jen would get scared too much and run away. Not scared of her but of all the other people, of their opinion about them, if they decide to come out, of the media hunting them down.

She decided that she’s going to give Jen as much space as she needs but she’s also going to let her know that she is her harbour, that she’s going to be there for her whenever she needs her.

And if it means to let the sweet blonde plan their dates, she’s more than willing to let her do that.

Her phone came to life at about twenty minutes to six. It woke her from her thoughts and she jumped.

“Hi,” she smiled and relaxed right in that moment.

“Hello,” the smile of the blonde was audible as well. “So, are you ready?”

“Yes, I am,” Lana stood to the window and was now looking at both sides, in case Jen would be already there.

“That’s good because I’m gonna be there in about 15 or 20 minutes.”

“Okay, I’m waiting for you.”

It was the longest twenty minutes in a long time.

The door bell rang and Lana opened the door. She was standing there in surprise.

“Hey,” Jen smiled and handed the brunette a bouquet. There were seven small red roses. Then she leaned closer to Lana and kissed her on her left cheek.

“Wow. Thank you,” the brunette blushed slightly and smelled the flowers.

“My pleasure. Shall we go?”

“Sure, let me just put the flowers into water.”

Lana disappeared in the house and came back in a minute. When she closed the door, Jen reached out her hand and took the tanned hand in to hers.

“You are stunning.”

Lana decided to wear a dress. It was black with flowers all over it, with hardly any of her famous cleavage but it emphasized her breast nicely. Her hair was clamped messily with romantic waves.

Lana looked at her from the side and stopped them. Jen turned around surprisingly which Lana took advantage of and pressed their lips together. They were kissing for a while and then Lana stopped.

“Did you buy new dress?” the brunette took Jen’s body in her sight.

The blonde blushed and spun around.

“Do you like it?”

“Yes. You are gorgeous. Really.” Lana caressed her cheek and then took her hand again so they could go to the car.

Jen was wearing a green cocktail dress without straps. There was a band in her waist in the same colour to point out the skirt which was puffy. It ended above her knees and it could easily be worn as a summer dress as well.

They were finally in the car, joining the evening traffic.

“So are you going to tell me now where we are going to?”

“Nope.” Jen smirked, determined not to give anything away.

“Fine. I’m going to learn it soon anyway.”

“Exactly.”

Lana was just looking around if she could recognize the streets so she could guess. It didn’t take long and they were soon parking in front of a building with apartments.

“Jen? This is where Rose lives…” Lana was confused as the blonde lead her to the door.

“Yes, it is.” She saw the brunette’s tension in her body so she found her hand. “She’s not here. And she doesn’t even know that we are here, don’t worry.”

“So how come that you have her key?” Lana asked as she was coming through the door.

“She gave it to me to check her place, the post and flowers and so, you know. And now, stay here for a second, please, I need to do something, okay?”

“Okay…” Lana stayed in the hall, looking around nervously. It was a great idea to go to their friend’s apartment but she wasn’t really sure how she felt about it, especially when it was secretly.

But before she had the time to decide if it was right or wrong, Jen came back.

“So, I’d love to take you to a restaurant but unfortunately that’s not possible, for different reasons. I thought it would be good to go some other place and this was the only thing I could think of. I made just some easy meal, nothing really special so I hope…”

Jen didn’t have the chance to finish what she was saying. Lana caught her on her waist and pulled her closer, claiming her lips immediately. The kiss started slowly and gently, they were just caressing each other’s lips but soon the blonde licked Lana’s bottom lip and made her open her mouth. Their tongues touched and send excitement through their bodies.

They stopped after a while that seemed like the eternity.

“Stop making worries, Jen. I appreciate that you did all this. You bought me beautiful flowers. You found us a place to go to have dinner. You cooked. And you look perfect. This is perfect. I don’t have to eat in five stars restaurants to have a nice dinner. I wouldn’t mind if you would just served me spaghetti with ketchup.” Lana laughed at her.

The blonde smiled gratefully and took her hand, leading her to the dining room.

Lana stopped in surprise and with her mouth open.

“Wow. This is… wow…” Lana turned to her girlfriend and hugged her tightly. In the second they faced each other, Jen was sure the brunette’s eyes were wet.


	14. Chapter 14

The blonde smiled gratefully and took her hand, leading her to the dining room.

Lana stopped in surprise and with her mouth open.

“Wow. This is… wow…” Lana turned to her girlfriend and hugged her tightly. In the second they faced each other, Jen was sure the brunette’s eyes were wet.

There were just two small lamps on, about the rest of the light took care candles. On the table there was a big candelabrum with three violet candles. The table was set with plates inviting to sit down and eat and wine glasses ready to drink and violet napkins, sketching the nice atmosphere.

Lana pulled away from Jen and looked at her.

“Hey, don’t cry, it’s not that bad, is it?” Jen joked, hiding her nervousness.

“No, you silly,” Lana smiled at her and kissed her on the lips. “I’m just touched. And surprised, I don’t know what I had expected but definitely not this.”

“Thank you. Come on, let’s eat. I hope it’s not cold yet but it shouldn’t be.”

Lana sat down and Jen took the plates to serve the food.

“It smells good.”

“Yeah, I hope it tastes good too,” the blonde turned around and put the plates on the table.

Jen decided to cook something simple so she went with fish. She fried it just on some butter with basil and rosemary. She cooked the potatoes with caraway seeds and lovage and meshed it. She added some fresh vegetable on the side of the plate to make it more colourful.

“I’m sure it does,” Lana smiled.

The blonde poured them some wine into the prepared glasses. They lifted them and looked each other in the eyes.

“To us?” Lana asked uncertainly.

“To us.” The glasses clinked against each other.

“Just as I said,” the brunette said after she tasted the food.

They were both eating in silence for a while, looking up at the other once in a while, smiling, thinking about topics they could talk about, both being a little bit nervous.

After few wine sips they relaxed.

“I didn’t know you were such a romantic,” Lana said teasingly.

“Yeah, me neither,” Jen laughed. “But you know, I wanted it to be nice. And from time to time I find this part in me too. Oh and, there’s a dessert as well.”

“You know, I think this might be the most romantic first date I’ve ever had. Maybe even the most romantic date I’ve ever had.”

“Oh come on, don’t exaggerate.” Jen tried to hide her blush in the wine glass.

“No, seriously. Of course I was taken out for dinners where there were candles and nice food and wine but it’s served by a waiter and that’s kind of impersonal, you know. Like the only thing the other person does is booking a table. And when they cooked for me, there was just one candle on the table just to illustrate the romantic atmosphere, the napkins didn’t match and it was never a dinner and a dessert, just one thing. Or,” Lana took a sip of her wine, “as a dessert, they served sex.”

They both laughed and they both sounded a bit nervous. They had talked about sex many times but it was different now. They were becoming a couple and it was something they would both be gladly involved with the other. But having sex with someone for the first time, with someone you truly care about, usually makes you a little bit nervous because you want it to be nice for your partner.

“Yeah, well, that’s something that crossed my mind, I admit, but I decided that some special pancakes would be better.” Jen smirked.

“Oh I love pancakes! What’s special about these?” Lana’s eyes widened and she sounded absolutely excited.

“Don’t be so impatient!” Jen took the plates from the table and started to prepare the dessert.

“So, as I said, it’s pancakes. You can have it with blueberries and/or with caramelized nectarines.”  She put two bowls on the table, in one there were mashed blueberries with a bit of cream and in the other one still warm nectarines.

“Wow. If you’re going to spoil me like this, I’m definitely going to keep you,” Lana joked, winking at Jen.

“Hm, I don’t know, if I’m going to spoil you, what do I get?” Jen was frowning, pretending to be thinking about this deal very hard.

“A good feeling? And I can do the dishes.”

“That actually sounds quite good.”

When they finished eating, Lana got up and took the plates.

“What are you doing?” Jen took the plates from her hands.

“Well, I told you I’ll do the dishes.”

“No way, you’re not doing it.” She put it in to the sink and looked at Lana with expression that didn’t allow a no.

“Jen,” Lana took her hands, looking her in the eyes, “this was a perfect evening. Let me do the dishes as a thank you.”

“Was?” The blonde said it teasingly, smirking at her.

“No. It still is a nice evening.” A smile spread across her face.

“Okay then. But we’re doing it together.”

Lana pulled her closer, too close actually.

“Deal.” Her lips were already brushing against Jen’s. It turned into a kiss quickly, lips pushing against each other, tongues fighting and licking, Jen’s hands tangled in Lana’s hair, Lana’s hands set on Jen’s waist, pulling her closer.

They were standing there in the kitchen, bodies pressed against each other in a desperate attempt to get as much touch as possible. Lana’s hands started to wander on the heated body, Jen broke the kiss and stared to put wet kisses on the Latina’s neck. She went up to her ear and when she bit and licked the earlobe a few times and Lana’s lips escaped a moan, she stopped, pressing her forehead against Lana’s.

“We should do the dishes…” Her voice was breathless.

“We definitely should,” Lana smiled and stole one last kiss before turning around to the sink.

Lana was washing, Jen was drying. When they finished, the blonde put the last plate in to the cupboard and turned to the brunette.

“Shall we finish the wine?”

“Sure!”

“Okay, let’s sit on the couch. What about some music?”

“We can just turn the radio on. Come on, come sit down.” Lana sat down in the corner of the couch and petted the spot next to her. Jen sat down and the brunette’s arm was immediately spread around her shoulders. The blonde snuggled into Lana’s body, holding the wine glass in her right hand and throwing the left arm across the other woman’s waist.

“I could get used to this,” the blonde looked up and kissed Lana’s cheek.

“You can. Thank you, for such a nice dinner.” She put a kiss into the blonde curls and then they were sitting in silence, enjoying the feeling of the other one’s body pressed against theirs.

“I don’t want this evening to end,” Jen sat up and put her glass on the table. The bottle was emptied a while ago.

“I have a suggestion. We could go for a walk. If it’s not already too much romance for one evening for you,” Lana grinned at her.

“A night walk under the stars with street lights? That’s way too romantic for me, you are right. But I think I can handle it.” Jen grinned back at her.

“I feel so honoured, the cold-hearted Jennifer agrees to go for a romantic night walk with me!” Lana shouted theatrically and threw her arms opened.

“Oohh, shut up!” Jen laughed and threw a pillow at her. Then she reached out her hand and helped Lana get up. “Come on, I’ll just wash the glasses and we can go.”

They washed what remained, threw the bottle into the dustbin, collected all the candles and went to the car.

“So, where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know, what if anyone sees us?” Lana’s concern was written all over her face.

“So what? We’ve been out together before. We could have even been visiting Rose. Just a short walk. Don’t let anyone spoil this evening,” Jen smiled at her and offered her her arm. Lana tangled hers under Jen’s and they walked down the street.

After a while Lana spoke.

“It’s not that I would be worried about myself, when someone would see us. I’m worried about us, about you.” Lana’s voice was silent, she was looking in front of her.

“Why about me? About us?”

“Because… If anyone sees us walking down the street like this and they talk, people would get curious. They would ask question. Stalk us more. Watch every our step, every move, every look. And I don’t want the others to destroy this beautiful something that is beginning right now. I don’t want you to get scared before you get confident enough with yourself and run away.”

“Lana…” Jen stopped and turned the brunette around so that they would be facing each other. “I really appreciate this. You don’t even know how much it means to me that you want to protect me, to protect us, that you let me enough space and that you let me take the initiative. I know it’s not easy, that I’m not easy. I would just kiss you so hard right now until you would be breathless. But I guess I’m gonna save this for somewhere private. But what I’m trying to say is that I agreed to go for a walk with you. If I wouldn’t have wanted, I would just take you home.”

“You promise to tell when you don’t want to do something or when you don’t like something?” Lana smiled.

“I promise.” Jen returned the smile and then they continued walking.

They went just around the block, talking, laughing. When they were coming back to the car, Lana touched Jen’s fingers carefully. When she didn’t pull away, she felt encouraged and tangled their fingers together. The blonde smiled and squeezed the hand in hers.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter that is written. It was written in August last year. I haven't touched the story since then, except for uploading it here. This wasn't the planned end but it seems like it is the last chapter. So it depends on you, I won't write more unless people really want it. I feel like I'm done with writing Morrilla stories... :)


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